Why Is It Difficult To Say, "Thank You?" #51

I go to the same donut shop twice a week and each morning order the same thing: coffee, black and a cinnamon roll, nothing else, never anything different. I have been repeating this twice weekly ritual for over a year.

When I enter the shop, the clerk—anyone of four employees—automatically, pours my coffee, never asks if I want sugar or cream—goes to the display case and chooses a cinnamon roll. Then, they come to the counter and say, “Two dollars.” Over 100 times I have repeated this ritual and only once has any employee said, “Thank You.” That is, except me. I always thank the clerk for taking my money and allowing me to have their product.

Many people, maybe even you, have experienced this seller indifference. The merchant fails to thank you; you thank them. People should never expect your money if they don’t expect to thank you for it. I don’t know why it is so hard to say thank you.

For a long time I have witnessed just how difficult it is for some people to say, “Thank You.” But, saying thank you for a business transaction, or for opening the door for someone, or even helping a little old lady across the street pales in comparison to saying thank you to people who have influenced our life. The actions, advice and lifestyle of family, friends, neighbors, teachers, coaches, pastors, priests, rabbis, and business associates influence our lives and help determine the outcome of our journey through life.

Twenty-Five years ago in 1984, while thinking about this very subject, I read an Ann Landers article in the Akron Beacon Journal in which Ann answered a reader’s question: “Why is it so difficult to say thank you to people who have influenced our lives?”

Ann Landers wrote, that there are two major reasons we fail to say thank you. First, people intend to do it but, many find it hard to put their feelings into words. The second reason is our nature to procrastinate. We mean well but never get around to it until it is often too late.

Those two excuses for not saying thank you struck a chord with me. I determined I was not going to be guilty any longer of failing to say thank you to the very special people in my life that had and were having a major role in making me who I am.

First, I put into words and had printed a Thank You certificate that I labeled, “You Are One in A Million.”

Thank You
__________________________

Because Of You, I Am A Better Person

This One-In-A-Million certificate is my way of saying “Thank You”
for the strong, positive impact you have had on my life. To some
extent, we all influence and are influenced by those around us. But,
your influence has been and continues to be special. You are truly
One-In-A-Million.

Dated: ____________19___ Signed: _________________


Next, I made a list of the names of people who lives had crossed mine and had some influence on me. Then, I narrowed the list down to those who had a major impact and help make me a better person.

I ended up with a very, very small list. I lettered in the name on the Thank You Certificate©, dated it, signed my name and mailed it in an oversized envelop with a see through window so everyone that handled the certificate would be exposed to the thank-you concept.

Ken Blanchard, co-author of The One Minute Manager states emphatically, “the things that get worked on first tend to get fixed first.” This being true, the question is what needs to be fixed in your life? Who do you need to connect with today to say, “Thanks, because of you, I am a better person?”

Somewhere out there are people who believed in you when you didn’t believe in yourself; who encouraged you when you were uninspired; who provided direction when you were lost; who stood by you when you felt alone. These people bring to mind the words of Guillaume Apollinaire, “Come to the edge, he said. They said; we are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.”

We can only hope that during our life time we will invite others to the edge and then push them into flight. Then someday you may be surprised to receive a thank you call, visit or letter telling you about the life changing influence you had on another’s life.

HOG THOUGHT: When you genuinely thank someone for something specific, you set off a chain reaction. You feel good by saying thank you. The recipient feels good in your acknowledgment. And, all the friends and acquaintances of the recipient that hear about the timely thank you will also feel good.

HOG QUOTE: “You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

HOG ACTION: This week, send a thank you letter to a special person who has had a strong positive impact on your life. Remind them they are one-in-a-million.