7 WAYS TO EVALUATE FRIENDSHIPS

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy like art…It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” —C.S. Lewis

No one is honest with us about real friendship. For an example, some people overestimate the number of friends they have, and some people underestimate the number of friends they have. The truth is you can never have too many friends.

There are several ways I evaluate genuine friendships besides the number of years I have known a person:

TRUE FRIENDS ARE NOT YES-PEOPLE. Friends often agree, but if there is always agreement, there is no friendship. Life experiences prove that people view some things differently. A friendship that sees all interactions on a scale of grays is not a friendship. Occasionally there are black spots; a friend will call them out. An acquaintance will gloss over the difference.

TRUE FRIENDS SHARE A BOND OF MUTUAL VALUES.  But sharing principles and beliefs doesn’t make your friend a clone, or you're alter ego.

TRUE FRIENDS DON’T EXPECT A THANK YOU. But when offered, the two words sound good to them. People often find it hard to say, "thank you" yet this acknowledgment is WD-40 to the friendship.

TRUE FRIENDS HAVE ANOTHER NAME: ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER. People often have lofty goals and to achieve these goals, actions must occur. A true friend helps keep you focused on actions that bring you closer to the goal and doesn’t let you get sidetracked on activities that carry you further from the goal.

TRUE FRIENDS ALSO HAVE NEEDS. Friendship is a two-way street that includes give and take. But a friend is in the relationship for what he or she can give and not what they can get.

TRUE FRIENDS ARE 24/7. The clock or a calendar can't constrain friendship.  A real friend is there; especially when you need them.

TRUE FRIENDS LEAN IN AND LISTEN.  Sometimes they comment and sometimes they say nothing. If you are listening, their silence speaks loudly.

There is probably no perfect friend. I don’t claim to be a perfect friend. But I consider myself a friend and I am blessed to have a few friends. When it comes to friends, I don’t endorse that more is better. I do advocate that quality is more important than quantity.