I saved this article for over twenty years. It is a classic—times change but, the selling message remains the same.
Dough Welch, New Your Journal-American Columnist, reports the following story of “the finest business letter” as related to him by a consultant. Thess letters were written by a salesman who had apparently never studied grammar.
Dear Boss:
I seen this outfit which ain’t never bought a dime’s worth of nothing from us and I sold them a hunert thousend dollars woth of guds. I am now going to Shecawgo.
Two days later a second letter arrived at the home office:
I cum to Shecawgo and sole this outfit here a half millyon.
Both letters were posted on the bulletin board with a note from the company president:
We been spendin to much time here trying to lurn spelin instead of selin. Let’s watch those sails. I want everboddy should read these letters from Gooch who is on the rode doin a grate jov for us, and you should go out and do like he done.
Thinka what this stoopid jerk coulda done if he had went to one of them sails training schools. He is too stoopid to reeleyes its tuff to sell!
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